Aussie Curves Vulnerable

VULNERABLE

Jo from ICurvy suggested this week's theme and it has been amazing. People have been digging deep and being so brave by showing their vulnerabilities. It has truly been very thought provoking.

Here's the thing. To look from the outside, I look pretty strong. I am smart, have a successful career, great kids and was married for 25 years. I am articulate and persuasive and have been told that I can be intimidating which really bugs me because that is never my intention. I can speak in front of a hall of strangers without breaking a sweat and I know this is a gift because so many others are crippled with anxiety about that. I am fiercely protective of the people I love and there are many of them. I have learned to be self reliant and to value what I bring to the world.

But just like yin and yang, all attributes have a positive and a negative side and this is my weakness. Because despite what I have written above , there is that voice in my head that says "you don't deserve to feel really secure in love"

My body does and doesn't come into it. I have always been fat. Not as fat as I am now but never skinny. Being overweight and half blind as a child meant I was not good at sport and being the oldest of six, that meant I was not encouraged to be sporty. After all there were plenty of other things I was good at that I could concentrate on. I was never encouraged to take an interest in clothes as a teenager because you couldn't easily get fashionable clothes above size 12, so I sewed mine. I didn't have a classic beauty so I rarely played with makeup until recently. 

I received the message as a young woman that I should be grateful to anyone who could love someone overweight like me. Even this year when daring to express a desire to meet someone new for the later half of my life I was told by my mother that my chances were pretty slim with the weight I am currently carrying! As if that thought hadn't occurred to me!

Despite those messages I am at peace with my body. I don't LOVE it but I accept it as part of me and I don't do battle with myself over it.

My dress style reflects the strength that I have had to develop. I put a lot of effort into looking "put together" at work. I try to dress to be approachable but still have authority. The message is " I might be overweight but don't you dare think that makes me lazy or stupid." My clothes are often quite structured and I wear shapewear frequently to give me smooth lines.

Today's outfit reflects a more vulnerable me.

Portraying a strong outer shell is my protection. In years of marriage I didn't realise but I was building walls to protect myself from hurt. Hurt because I didn't feel understood or supported. Hurt because I was told pretty early in the piece to be responsible for my own happiness. Its actually not bad advice really but at the time it felt like I was being pushed away. So I shut down and probably became less available and loving in return. End of confession and please don't think I am putting someone down. On the outside I am that strong confident woman but it's not always the same on the inside.

Vulnerability is not weakness. Actually I think it is quite the opposite. This dress reflects my desire to be vulnerable. To be open to being loved and to feel safe to bring the barriers down.

The fabric is soft and textured. The hem is really short for me which you cant see because we forgot to shoot a standing picture. But a short hem shows my very chubby knees. A part of my body I am not comfortable showing off.

It clearly does nothing to hide my big tummy.

But it invites hugs.

And it makes me feel open. Barriers down but warm and giving in return. When you open your heart you take a risk that hurt will come instead of joy. That is being vulnerable.

Perhaps vulnerability is not a thing to fear but a thing to embrace.

The other Aussie Curves women have been wonderfully open and awesome this week. Go check them out. It will be worth it. We have each other's back and I am very grateful.

Online shopping haul

Just sharing a recent online shopping haul. Mostly scores but some not so sure.

 Firstly two jackets from autograph. These are a great find for $29 each. This black and white floral is a light satiny feel and will be great for spring.

I love this floral cotton blazer. Smart business like but fun. I think it will go with a lot of things.

Then there is the Asos sale. It's still going but here are my finds. 

Firstly the body on dress. I know I'm not smiling but I love this dress even if it is very figure hugging. I'm going to brave it and wear to work.

Then of course there are two peplum tops. They are cut longer in the waist than previous Asos tops I have bought. 

Without belt or with belt?

And then this one is a little out there. My dd thinks it is a little too Alice in wonderland and I am not sure whether to keep it

Without belt or with belt?

The next dress is a lovely light cotton knot. It feels wonderful on and is much longer on short me then on the website. I will be keeping this for hot summer days.

Lastly there are these pants. I should have known better. I know from years of sewing that a more fitted pant looks better on me. I wanted to try the printed pant trend but this may not be my answer. Also they do not feel as cool on as I expected. I think I bough two sizes too big as well. What do you think?

Aussie Curves Celebrate

Aussie Curves Celebrate

A year ago a courageous and shy young woman had a dream. She wanted to establish a supportive and positive community for plus sized women where is was safe to explore their fashion style and to learn from each other. I wonder if Danimezza had any idea how successful she would be.

I was in from the beginning. 

I wasn't sure if I was what she was aiming for in the demographic , being old enough to be the mother of some of the participants but there are very few middle aged plus sized women blogging about fashion out there and I wanted to have a go. 

And I have gained so much.

My style has changed quite a bit. Admittedly it had started changing before exactly 12 months ago but that was from following Dani and other plus sized bloggers in the months before Aussie Curves started.

So what has changed?

I have confidence to play with fashion!

I accept that my body is wide and I wear figure hugging clothes anyway.

I wear belts to indicate a waist.

And I have found other sources of clothes than just the ones available in the mall so ASOS and  other online sources have pumped up my wardrobe, perhaps a little too much.I also walk into shops I didnt visit before like Millers. I know, not high fashion but I found this lovely monochrome peplum top today and I think it shows the current season trend pretty well.

And who would have ever thought I would wear a leather look skirt? It had been ages since I had worn pencil skirts. I did wear them a lot in the 80s but then I wore very few skirts for 20 years. Now I love them and have quite a few pencil skirts but this lovely Scuba skirt from Harlow is my latest and favourite and I never would have tried it without Aussie Curves.

And then there is colour. Red and black were my colours before and I still love them. But now I am happy to play with pops of hot pink, purple and cobalt blue. Close fitting jackets and peplums are also a big feature in my wardrobe. This one from City chic called out to me the day it came into store and I had to have it even at full price. So glad I bought it because they were all gone 3 days later.

Finally, my DD and I have had a lot of fun playing with photos. She has even offered to take photos for the challenge recently. That is truly something to celebrate. It is always lovely to work with your children using the creativity that you both can bring. Today we were playing with lighting. I think she is getting better and better as a photographer. Our garage is making a pretty good studio.

Isn't she beautiful?

So Happy Birthday Aussie Curves and thanks to Dani and all the other participants. We really have something to celebrate

Aussie Curves Handmade

Those who know me well would have thought this Aussie Curves theme would be easy for me. After all I sewed nearly all of my clothes from about the age of 14 until about 6 years ago. It was a complete necessity. At the age of 14 I was a size 14 and even that size was difficult to get at normal stores and no-one in my family was going to help me find stores for my size. My mother was a good seamstress in her day but having 6 kids got in the way so she taught me how to sew  and off I went. I even sewed my year 12 formal dress. Thankfully no photos remain.

The very first paycheck I got from a summer job went towards my own sewing machine which came to college with me when I moved for uni.

When the children came along I sewed a lot for them and bought an overlocker for all the stretch stuff little ones wear. They each have their own christening gown made by Mum and there are some heirloom gowns made of silk and French lace in my cupboard waiting for grandchildren. ( I am hoping to wait quite a lot longer yet though). As they took up dance I got good at sewing leotards and costumes. One year I sewed about 160 dancing costumes for the school and the dancing school and the girls. My daughters have far more faith in my abilities than they should and often draw something they want and ask for it to be made with no pattern. Most of the time I manage. This year, most of my efforts have gone on pole dancing costumes for the oldest. And no you cant see them on this blog. But she loves them.

So I kind of stopped sewing for me. Luckily by now plus sized clothes are easier to find and getting better and better and relatively more affordable.

But I do have one handmade item of clothing in my wardrobe. I put so much effort into sewing it years ago that I can't part with it. Vey much from the 90s fashion era, this swing coat made of purple wool is so warm and comfy, it still gets worn on very cold days.

It's very heavy so I cant take it away if I go to colder climes unless I drive there.

Coat hand made, top Autograph, Skirt TS14plus

For those of you in the know it is underlined to give it structure as well as lined with satin silk lining.

It's so warm.

In a past life I have been very crafty and have made a few items of jewelry as well. One I made about 3 years ago was worn last week and it still gets comments. If you are interested, pop over to my old crafting blog and check it out.

One day I might get back to my craft. You never know.

But in the mean time this is the least of the first year of Aussie Curve posts. There are more to come for the second year. I have enjoyed participating immensely and hope that seeing a 50 year old woman having a go at fashion has contributed to the wonderful positivity that Aussie Curves has meant to me. Thanks to Dannimezza and Melissa for starting the group and the challenge. It has been a blast and I am sure will continue to be so.

This is a blog hop. Check out the other wonderful women from Aussie Curves

Aussie Curves Feminine

So sad that I have missed recent challenges. Green, spike and  leather were all challenges I could have done but didn't because of time and the fact that DD is the best photographer in the house and she was busy writing essays for uni.
Feminine was initially a challenge in my head. I think of feminine as creamy lace, pearls, florals and frills. Not really my style. Don't get me wrong, I dressed my kids in beautiful hand made by me smocked dresses and have made some lacy Christening gowns in silk but when it come to what I wear, pastels just don't do it for me.
But then I realised my style has changed quite a lot and the majority of what I wear is feminine. When I started my current job over 10 years ago one of the (male) partners made a comment about how I never wore skirts. And he was right. My look was pretty much loose pants and t-shirt type tops with drapey vests or jackets over the top. And I made a lot of my clothes too because there was much less plus size clothing around.  But in recent years choices are so much better. And I wouldn't like to admit how many skirts I own but I wear skirts and dresses twice as often as pants. What a pity that partner is no longer working to enjoy the view! Yes I know pretty politically incorrect wasn't it.
So this outfit is a result of the recent City Chic sale.

I noticed the top the week it came into the store and loved the red colour in the ponti fabric with the drapey sleeves but was reluctant to pay full price. So glad it was in the sale and in my size.

And the skirt is, believe it or not, the ponti pencil skirt that everyone has been raving about. It is fairly high waisted and I am short waisted so it naturally falls high on my waist for me. I don't mind the outcome because it creates the illusion that I am wearing an empire line dress and I can swap the colours of the tops depending on my mood.

The belt is from Asos and I like the girly bow.

Don't you just love the texture of this paperbark tree?

So I just had to wear my pearls. They are the real thing. ( a 21st birthday present a century ago )

Curls tamed courtesy of my lovely hairdresser today.

I tried to get my earrings in the shot but my curls got in the way.

Thanks to my gorgeous girl for the photos.

Check out the other wonderful Aussie Curvettes in the linky below.

Aussie Curves Time Saver

Well here we are again at the end of the Aussie Curves blogging week. This week's theme is Time Saver.

I have to admit that , like many other women, I feel quite time poor. Life is a little less hectic with grown children but I still have to be at work by 8 4 days a week and the other day I am still AT work at 8. So saving time getting ready for work makes life feel manageable.

So here are my tips:

1. Have a basic uniform to vary for work clothes. For me that means usually black basic shell with colourful top layer. Not always but it is a go to when I need not to think

2. Plan what you are going to wear the day before and get it out. ( I don't always follow my own advice but I wish I did )

3. minimal hair bother. I am lucky to have naturally curly hair. I fought it for a long time but now I embrace the curl. I know it can look wild and unruly at times. That's because it is. So, after washing I apply some antifrizz stuff, scrunch my hair and let it dry naturally. This is the most time saving thing I can do and I like my hair curly.

So to demonstrate my tips, here we go. I am using my basic ASOS body con Tshirt dress and styling 3 ways.

asos dress and cardi from Autograph summer 2012. Necklace Lovisa.

Shoes from Evans of course.

I would wear this to work or to dinner.

Same dress and shoes but jacket from city chic.I love this outfit for work. No necklace here bacause the sun was getting low and I had to save time but a red chunky one would be the order of the day.

natural waves in hair. No fuss

For a more casual look I have the same dress but this time with boots from this year's Autograph range and the jacket also from Autograph. Military style ponti jacket. I think I will get a lot of casual wear from this if it ever gets cold enough

The sun was in my eyes but it was nice that it was there for the pics.

Check out the other Aussie curvettes and their time saving tips. We all need them.

Aussie Curves Heels

Well as usual I am getting in on the last minute.But I couldn't miss out on the topic of heels.
I must admit I look at the heels my daughters wear in awe. I don't think I EVER wore heels like that. Being ballet trained for so long they have wonderful core strength and walk in heels as if they are gliding. I, however, have flat  and wide feet and am lucky to find shoes that fit at all. Very few of the shoes that fit me are heels.
But then, through Aussie Curves, I found Evans shoes. And there are now many more opportunities for wide footed friends.

But first, Let's pay homage to these beauties.

These are from Kumfs. Before they became Ziera. And I love them. They are not very high but I think they are funky and they ask for attention whenever I wear them.

Don't you love the heels? They are shapely but stable so I can work all day and party all night in them.

Now to introduce my first pair of Evans heels.

I am not the only Aussie Curvette to own these shoes. Banana heel shoes with glitter toe caps.

And heels just the right height.

They are my go to heels for photo shoots and have featured in many posts. I will stay loyal but there are a couple of newbies on the block jostling for my attention.

Like these.

My first ever pair of nude heels. 

Again Evans and they are not as high as they look because of the front platform. I can see these going with quite a few outfits all year round.

 All together now. 

But wait, there is more.

I do already have 3 pairs of boots but Then I tried on these babies and I really think I need boots with heels.  I haven't had a pair with heels since I was 19! That was a long time ago.

So they came home with me this week and are claiming their place.

We are dubbing them the bossy boots. They are going to be fun!

Don't forget to check out the heels on the other curvette's pages. And see you again soon with time savers.